13 Frequently Asked Questions about Internal Enslavement

slaveasitis Uncategorized April 27, 2019 6 Minutes

1. What is Internal Enslavement?

Internal Enslavement (“IE”) is a collection of ideas about how to take

ownership of a slave, in a consensual context (ie where the submissive to be

enslaved consents at the start of the process.)

Is this like BDSM?

IE has grown out of the Master/slave subculture, which is part of the

Dominance and submission aspect of BDSM by definition. However, there are a

lot of differences between a relationship that is pursuing Enslavement, and

most BDSM relationships or scenes: in particular, the master has to shoulder a

lot more responsibility than a Top does in a BDSM scene lasting an hour or

two.

2. How new is all this? 

Many people in the M/s subculture have been intuitively

using the ideas of IE for years. We make no claim that all of IE is an

original discovery: all we’re doing is describing it and trying to put it on

firm theoretical foundations.

How are you defining “slave” then? One of the key concepts of IE is the

literal slave: this is just the everyday definition of “slave” that everyone

grows up with, and it doesn’t include the role-play slaves you sometimes meet

elsewhere in BDSM. For example, this is from the definition of “slave” in the

second edition of the Oxford English Dictionary: “One who is the property of,

and entirely subject to another person, whether by capture, purchase or birth;

a servant completely divested of freedom and personal rights.” When we say

“slave”, we mean literal slave,defined in this way.

3. Can’t people just decide for themselves what they are?

No one is stopping people in other types of relationship calling themselves

anything they like. However, if they’re not literal slaves then we do not see

how they can reasonably claim to be such (rather than making perfectly

accurate statements that they like to be treated as a slave, to serve as a

slave, to roleplay life as a slave or whatever other aspect of the idea of

slavery they enjoy.)

4. But how can you claim that literal slavery is possible?

The Enslavement Hypothesis is that there are submissives who have an

overwhelming need to be owned by a dominant. Given the right environment, the

submissive can be coaxed out from behind the protective walls she has built

during her life and made to expose all of her Self to her master. Among other

things this requires that he creates an environment which is emotionally safe

and in which her underlying character will be accepted, probably for the first

time in her life. During this process, the bond between the submissive and her

master becomes sufficiently strong that she can no longer break it herself,

and she has then been enslaved.

5. So it’s all done by the submissive?

Not at all: the process of enslavement involves a huge amount of work by the

master and an ongoing effort to hold her in slavery. To do this, he needs to

achieve a deep understanding of her emotions (including her emotional history)

and her view of what is happening in the relationship. Armed with this

information, he is able to maintain an environment she cannot

get herself out of (partly because he continually adjusts it so that he

remains in control.)

This is sometimes called Psychological or Emotional Bondage.

6. Emotional bondage?

Is that like emotional blackmail? Definitely not. Some

dominants try to use forms of emotional blackmail to obtain the obedience of

submissives and to persuade them to stay in the relationship. This involves

playing on the submissive’s self doubts, guilt and fears (especially the fear

of being alone.) These dominants use this kind of ploy: “If you were a true

submisssive you would do it”; “I wonder why I waste my time with you when you

do this”; and worst of all “Do you want to keep my collar or not?” By

presenting the relationship as a confrontation, they force the submissive into

a defensive position which guards her Self. All of these push the submissive

into maintaining and even heightening her protective walls so she can keep the

dominant out.

7. So how does the master get this deep understanding of the slave?

By observation and more importantly by getting the slave to talk about her

internal process and then listening. Since it’s essential for the master to

tear down the protective walls the slave has built during her lifetime, it’s

not sufficient to instruct her to report everything important and then just

wait: he has to “go in” and examine what is actually going on inside her head

in response to the environment he is creating.

That sounds almost like counselling?

Yes, they both have a lot in common (infact, one of the role pairs of IE is

Counsellor /client.) It’s important that the master doesn’t coach the slave

into giving the kinds of answers he wants when he is examining her thoughts

and feelings – a technique shared with counselling. For example, if the slave

is having difficulty accepting one of her master’s decisions, then it’s

essential that she be made to disclose this, so that he can resolve her

feelings and then work on whatever is preventing her internal acceptance of

his decision (in addition to just her external obedience to it.)

8. Doesn’t that involve the slave being disrespectful, even rude?

It often involves “disrespectful” comments and even outbursts in the short

term, but buys the master genuine (rather than just superficial) respect in

the long term. Every disobedient thought and rebellious feeling is another

portion of the slave that he does not truly own. IE is a method for taking

ownership of the whole slave over time.

9. You mentioned role pairs?

A useful way of thinking about an Enslavement relationship is in terms of

roles: these are different ways of interacting, which nevertheless, all share

the fundamental reality of master and slave: the three we talk about are

Master/servant, Teacher/student and Counsellor/client. The different roles

reflect different degrees of formality and explicit discipline: for example, a

client is being asked to describe her feelings freely, but a student is being

taught the best way to perform a task, and a servant aims to serve perfectly

and without detailed supervision.

10. What about safewords?

The “safeword” is an ambiguous concept – they’re sometimes signals rather than

words andthey are used to mean everything from a veto like “Stop – I want to

go home” to the mere passing of information like “I’m being physically harmed

by what’s happening”.Leaving aside the various dangers associated with relying

on them for information, a safeword which is a veto is contrary to the kind of

literal slavery that IE aims for.

11. Don’t people need timeouts in any long term relationship?

Some do, some don’t. The submissives described by the Enslavement Hypothesis

need to be under their master’s authority all the time, but this isn’t to say

that they should be following detailed commands and living under continuous

direct supervision all the time: in a relationship which nurtures the slave

and promotes her growth as a valuable piece of property, it is necessary that

she have times to express her creativity, to spend time with family and

friends and even just to rest. These needs are not incompatible with her

overwhelming need to be owned.

Why is it called Internal Enslavement?

When a submissive is internally enslaved, she has internalised her slavery.

Furthermore, the process of enslavement takes place within, even if her

external, physical environment contributes to it. For this reason we make a

distinction between Internal Enslavement and the External “Slave Training”

schemes you often read about – approaches which concentrate on the form of

slavery (speaking respectfully, assumming numbered “slave positions”, acting

in a “slavelike” manner) rather than on ownership which is the substance of

slavery.

12. Isn’t this dangerous? Isn’t this like brainwashing?

IE leaves a submissive very vulnerable to her master, and for this reason,

submissives need to be extremely cautious when pursuing this kind of

relationship. We feel that publicising these ideas will help submissives who

need slavery (by helping them to see through time wasting dominants, emotional

blackmailers etc) and that almost no abusive dominants will have the patience

and the empathy to apply Internal Enslavement in a convincing way for any

length of time.

This is immoral. Slavery is evil!

Making someone a slave without their consent, abusively denying their needs

and preventing them from growing as an individual is both evil and

fundamentally contradictory to the IE approach. IE is based on consensual non-

consent.

13. Isn’t consensual non-consent a contradiction in terms?

Not really, since it means giving legally valid consent to start the process

of enslavement, in the knowledge that the process will remove the ability to

withdraw consent in the future. Outside of military recruitment, Western

societies tend not to acknowledge the possibility of handing over your

personal freedoms to someone else, but this is

ethically what we’re talking about.

Role-playing

Drama can have a cathartic effect, release emotion and in large ones energies and self understanding

Our brain is the largest sex organ. This is a question about mind over matter. Both Master and slave bring their intelligence and will into play submission depends on the individual civility to align her will with her Master to use her intelligence to fulfil his wishes gracefully and efficiently.

The Master for his part, must be able to direct her will with his own.  It’s all about imagination! We use our imagination every day  for example, we use our imagination to decorate our homes, we use it to write fiction, etc. on the other hand, daring to apply this remarkable human capacity to sex is likely, at least initially, to make warning bells go off in your head, or flash red lights in your mind in your internal warning system that has been planted in our brain, largely without our awareness.  Imagination should not be applied to sexual relationships to improve them or enhance them! It is quite stupid to say it that way, but that in effect, is the message! Why should human thought not be used to advanced sex? Why should human sex not be fun mentally, as well as physically? The Elementary pleasure becomes transformed into psycho sexual pleasure. Sex involves the whole human being. Many people agree with this on a theoretical level, but not on a emotional and psychological level. When Master closes the bedroom door, the two of you are alone, and ready to explore the intimacies of these love games. You, as his slave, you are in his arms, you are completely stripped and open to him. Your beauty is exposed to him actually, you are his love object. What an exquisite joy, you let him make you cry out with joy and happiness, and yield to him. Together, mentally and physically stimulating each other, with extraordinary and incomprehensibly delicious psycho sexual experiences.

All human beings have sexual fantasies, and yet, amazingly, we are often reticent to communicate these to each other. One problem, of course, may be that One fantasy that appeals to one of you, may not appeal to the other, they have to feel there way into the fantasy of the other. There is something there, or presumably the other would not be attracted by the fantasy. Entering into another persons Fantasy world can be an exciting and stimulating experience. You will learn a lot about each other. Some say that you do not really know another person, until you know their fantasies, our fantasies are branded by our history and individualities. They are precious, and in certain particulars, unique to us. So much of our personalities are revealed in our fantasies. Our secret selves, reveals themselves in our fantasies  they are pretty close to who we are. We are perhaps more like we want to be, or would like to be. Our dreams are a significant component of our identity. Role play requires some patients, One partner may be or perhaps both of you may need some time to gently try this out. Seeing for him or her if they are pleasurable.  Love games requires a great deal of practice and experience. I found that gratification was available from the very beginning, but starting slowly.

Freud said that the rape fantasy was the most common fantasy between men and women, this of course, doesn’t mean that any individual actually wishes to be raped. Regardless, without going into details about rape in the real world, The fantasy is about capturing and using a beautiful woman.  For a woman, it is her own capture and subjugation. She is carried to the bedroom, stripped, thrown on the bed and used with a Tender but uncompromising aggressiveness! Patient, and detailed which leaves no doubt in her mind that she is dominated, that she is the object, commanded by an incredible sexual desire.  

If the partners did not know each other, they couldn’t make it delightful and stimulating.   

A Master might find himself wanting to become sexually aggressive. He wants to dominate you, drive you wild with pleasure, to possess you, to own you, to make you possessively his  to want you to have you. To make you helplessly his. You may hold nothing back, yield as the slave girl you are to your Master totally, unreservedly and fully. Empty and shatter  yourself at his feet. Now he is all, and you are nothing. Only a conquered  slave girl. He is all. Yield in all your helpless, degraded, sensual  ecstasy.

Here are some examples of scenarios you can play! Remember that your own fantasies are always the best, maybe they are nurtured and elaborated on since childhood and onwards. They speak most deeply to us. These are examples for inspiration, like recipes to pick and choose from. The point is to get the point. One fantasy that appeals to one, may seem strange or funny to another. The possible role of fantasy to increase sexual pleasure. 

1: your wife is your whore fantasy. 

You pay for your wife’s services and accordingly, treats her as the whore she is. On the other hand, she will have to put up for you, you pay for this. By that I mean treat her with bluntness in particular. Since you are paying for her, you want the best performance. If she wants to stay in business, she better be good. Tell her what you want done, and how you want it done. Make her work for you, make her sweat a little to please you. Lay there and make her put out. The payment is of interest, I suggest that you give her real money a couple of bills on the dresser, or under her body where she can feel them. She won’t object, perhaps to your surprise, by earning a new handbag in this fashion. She should not return it to you, the poor girl has earned it. For variation, maybe your husband is a sailor? What kind of woman awaits him? Maybe the wife is a dancing girl, with other skills. Is she a native woman, or a western woman? Because of unknown secrets, it’s at the mercy of the owner of the establishment is she a woman who has been accustomed to the mastery of men, or is she the westerner Who in fear of the power of the owner of the establishment is forced to be more servile or delightful than any native woman could ever dream of being?   

2: i am sold in a slave market fantasy.

Maybe you are curious of what your flesh will bring? I wonder what it would be like to be placed on the block stripped for the examination of the buyers. I wonder what it would be like to have men bid on my body? what would I sell for? This gives you an opportunity to find out. 

Maybe you are a beautiful tourist who is captured and find yourself placed in such a market. Maybe you are an undercover journalist who has bribed her self into this secret market. She has a hidden camera, ET see it will be a fantastic story! She wants the scoop. She discovers that white women, and women of all colours are sold in this market. With a whip she is driven to the block and stripped, article by article. Before she is sold she is forced to feel the lash on the block, as a slave girl. She has to dance for the men. 

And her buyer, gagging and binding her, takes her home! She never knows when the blow is coming, the blows are not timed. She must wait for each strike, tense, frightened doubtless she is to perform well on the block to interest the buyers. Perhaps she is caressed to check her responsiveness. 

There are many other ways to play out enslavement, of coarse. Perhaps you feel you should be thrown a special kind of garment, and be forced to put it on. The garment of a female slave. Perhaps a certain kind of jewellery is placed on your body, slave jewellery, marking her as property. Perhaps you feel you should be forced to Neil. 

3: I need a job desperately, fantasy

The woman who needs a position, lays for the man who can give it to her.

Afterwards, he either gives it to her or not, depending on whether or not he is satisfied with her. 

Perhaps she must try again, perhaps she can please him more next time. You find yourself in a predicament. You are forced against your will, to buy what you need with your flesh.   The man is rude, in a commanding position imposing his demands. She doesn’t have to fuck, it’s only that if she doesn’t she won’t get the job. This fantasy has somewhat of the whore element to it, it’s only that she performs under duress she must perform, and perform she does 

4: I want my professor fantasy

You don’t really need this good grade, but you want it so badly. You make an appointment to see the professor. You discuss the work with him in the course. You make it clear to him how desperately you need the grade. He tells you to work hard, to study, you cross your legs, and lean forward  you invite him, without speaking, to place his hand on your body, pleading, you look at him piteously, you are all innocence. I need an A so desperately, is there no way I can obtain this? I am willing to do anything. Anything! You say. He touches your body. “Oh, sir! “ he removes his hand  you lean forward again and say, yes anything! Now you are crying! He puts an arm about your shoulders to comfort you  you look up at him helplessly, tears in your eyes, your lips are parted “You excite me“ you tell him. His hands strokes your waist on the side, “Does this excite you?“ He asks. “Yes, sir yes”, you whisper. Then they agree to go to bed. 

Let’s hope he doesn’t  take her on the desk or on his couch in his office. 

Soon it becomes clear by the professors harsh commands and instruction, that you get more than you bargained for. Never had you expected anything like this. He puts you through your paces. You are forced to perform superbly, by his instructions, when you are finished, you have been deliciously had. You put on your clothes, and ask about your grade. You are briskly informed that you should study hard, very hard etc. you then express the rage, indignation and humiliation that such a girl would feel. 

Then the professor caresses you into ecstasy again.

5: The helpless maid fantasy

In many fantasies, it is helpful to engage in activities that set the right mood. Maybe do some housework, and think about this Fantasy. You may also consider wearing a maids uniform. Maybe you meet your Master at the door, take his hat, address him as Sir etc.  all day long, we may suppose, she has in fear that he will indicate to her that he will make her serve him sexually what will he do, she doesn’t know, she is in agony. He is of coarse, handsome and strong, and very sexually attractive to her. After supper, she will see what happens  but he doesn’t say a word. He simply starts to remove her clothing but overwhelmed, helplessly stunned  by his boldness, she is lifted and carried to the bed! 

Of coarse, she obediently complies. 

Have fun!!!

Help! Someone I Care about is kinky!

When we try to understand another person’s reality, we can’t help being influenced by our background. If you learn that somebody you care about, enjoys something that you have been taught is wrong or even sick, you may see that person in a whole new way. You may even wonder if you really knew this person in the first place. By learning more about whatever your daughter, son, sibling, friend, coworker ETC enjoys. By trusting the persons ability to make healthy choices and above all, continuing to offer love, friendship and affection, even when things seem crazy weird, or impossible, you may find that you now experience deeper, truer and more meaningful connections than you ever done before.  That is what I want for you, and why I wrote this series of articles.

Many people in this world have sexual practices, that may be described as alternative.   These people may enjoy bondage, spanking, erotic role-playing, or a number of activities that fall outside the sexual mainstream. For some it is a part-time activity, for others it is a lifestyle it’s like playing a musical instrument, some do it part time for fun, others as a profession. 

How did you find this blog? 

Perhaps somebody you care about sent you a link? If so, this person must trust you a lot! Many kinky people have had sad and bitter experiences, of people turning away from them. Maybe the person you care about is sitting and crossing her fingers right now, that you won’t do that. Maybe you suspected that the one you care about is kinky, and googled it, because you were worried or very curious.

If that is the case, maybe you can read this blog together, maybe you have frightening pictures of whips and leather going through your mind! Take a deep breath and turn off your over active imagination if you can, and let’s start exploring. Let me explain more of what’s going on! Many of the strange clothes and accessories are props if you like, turn on’s and recognition signals to other people who love these things, they can look pretty scary to outsiders. These things and activities are not as frightening as they seem.

You may ask, why do I need to know these things?  

You probably don’t tell your kinky friend or relative what you did in your bedroom last night, so you might be wondering why it’s so important for her that you really understand these things. If you are not kinky, you may be fortunate that the world you live in provides a place for you. For many kinky people, it is an essential part of their identity and where they fit in. It kind of puts us on the fringe of society, in the shadows. I would go as far as saying that it places us firmly in the margins of society. I always feel unsafe, who knows what about me, and if they know or should know  something, do they judge me? And on the basis of what? For many of us, those who don’t know about our lifestyle don’t really know us. Imagine that you had a close friend, but you couldn’t tell her about your race or your marital status, wouldn’t that make you feel uncomfortable? It would be like lying a little bit every time. Do you really want to make your friend or relative feel that way about you? To always have to hide Who they really are from you. This is so important to our life, and it feels so bad to always have to omit things that is what makes us feel like we are lying just a little bit, every time we tell about our life. I hope not! We want to be relaxed around people we love, not feel as though we have to be on guard all the time. 

Where do you get your information? Often, the friends and family of kinky folk, have as their only source of information, a lot of very sensationalised and very in accurate images, put forward by television and newspapers and so on. Please keep in mind that those who create movies, novels and TV shows, probably no less about kink than you do, and that the job is not to spread good information, but to make money. There is an old advertising phrase that says: sex sells, and sensational sex sounds better. If all you get to hear about the lifestyle are inaccurate sensationalised negative exaggerated messages, of course you believe that kinky people are screwed up and scary, and chances are that you will be upset that the one you care about is one of them. So where do you get reliable and trustworthy information? Well, that’s what I’m trying to give you in this blog. I’ll give you a definitions of terms you may not understand, and descriptions of what actually happens in various kinks. But your most important source of information is the kinky person herself. If you feel confused about what she is into, ask. Only she can tell you, what she actually does, why she does it, why she enjoys it, what she gets out of it, and how she keeps herself happy and healthy while she does it. If you can’t imagine yourself talking about such embarrassing intimate stuff, I truly hope my blog will help you.   

No apologies!

Most of us grew up in a world where sex is connected with Shame, and non-standard sexual preferences were unspeakable. You may be accustomed to people who act ashamed or guilty about their sexual preferences. If so, this blog may seem very unusual to you. Again, no apologies. 

I believe the lifestyle is something to be proud of, sex is a wonderful gift from the creator, and kinky sex is wonderful to. It is very hard to come to terms with, in a culture where we are constantly told that we are sick, not excepted and the like for what we want to do or how we live. Many kinky people are isolated and scared, because they want to give into their kink sometimes they may even hate themselves because of their desires. I am sure you don’t want anybody you care about to feel self-hatred, frightened or alone. As someone who cares, you have a great power to help or harm, your behaviour matters! You can help your kinky person feeling healthy, loved and excepted, or even leave them feeling rejected isolated and alone. By reading this introductory article, you have taken an important positive step in the right direction! 

Thank you!!!


Help! Someone I care about is kinky

What do kinky people actually do?

In this article I’m going to discuss some of the behaviors that are labeled kinky in our culture. As you read it, i’d like you to give yourself permission to feel some uncomfortable feelings. You may think the activities I am describing are scary, silly, or disgusting oh shocking. That’s OK it is fine to have those feelings!  Recognize them, acknowledge them, and except that not everybody share them, and move onwards  for now. I don’t want you to beat yourself up, if what I am describing  doesn’t turn you on. Some of them don’t turn me on either. I have never met a person who enjoys every single kinky activity. A lot of people enjoyed many of them some like a few, and some like only one of them and some like none  whatever you’re consensual sexual turn on‘s may be, they are fine with me., and I want them to be fine with you too  

The first thing I want you to understand, is that kinky behavior is not as scary as it looks  The whole point is to feel scary and safe at the same time. Like if you are on a roller coaster or watching a horror movie together, without any actual danger. So kinky people k May wear intimidating costumes, or built a dungeon in the basement modeled after the inquisition. All this is theater, Setting the atmosphere for thrills and chills  as you try to understand kinky behavior, it can be tempting to compare it with an experience of your own which to notes fear or involves trauma if your partner likes to be spanked with a belt, you may mentally be comparing that to your experience of being spanked as a child. With all the sense of punishment and shame an  outrage and all the experience that goes with a non-consensual spanking. I have tried both, and it’s like comparing apples and oranges. Safety, comfort, and deliberate sensuality makes all the difference when it comes to spanking. But, if a non-consensual childhood spanking is all you know about spanking, it is no wonder that you don’t understand what could be such a turn on and fun with that.   Please remember that you cannot know what an alternative sexual experience feels like, if you haven’t tried it yourself. Even then, different people react in different ways do the same stimulus I was off and spank very hard with the belt as a child so I was very hesitant to try any kind of spanking or whipping play  but the first time I allowed myself to be whipped, it was with a belt, and I was very amazed. It felt nothing like what I remembered from my childhood. It wasn’t scary at all, well, once we got started! And it didn’t feel painful, at least not in the normal sense of the word. It felt warm and loving, very entrancing and sexy.

Now I’d like to talk about the joy of immobility  many kinky people like to feel the enforced feeling of receiving or giving helplessness, using various forms of bondage  this is probably one of the most common form of kinks  bondage is a turn on for many reasons. When one is in bondage, there is no question about who is the active party and who is the recipient! Bondage clarifies the roles and relieves the anxiety of wondering: is it OK to be lying here, or should I be doing something bondage increases helplessness! A  Very sexy sensation for people Who are turned on to consensually giving Up or receiving power. Bondage involves a lot of technical skills, which you may have discovered if you have ever played tie up games as a child. Proper bondage equipment helps with all that. Bondage equipment can look kind of scary, black leather and all that, while being designed to being utterly and completely comfortable  wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs are padded and off in to prevent damage, line with fur, and a wide enough to distribute stress so that the wearer can yank on it to her hearts content  this exemplifies the essential  paradox ofSM  it looks scary, but feels comfy. The physical constraints of the bondage, feels good and reassuring. Course or other other body restricting items, slow down the wearers breathing, alter the way she moves and and we shape the body    an experienced that many kinky people find entrancing and extremely erotic., as do their partners who get to look at the results. Manny like having their atttention turned inwards by the use of A blindfold, which illiminates many distractions. And enhances physical sensation by increasing focus  you can get an idea of how this works by running your fingers lightly over the inside of your forearm, while closing your eyes  Touch feels more intensive in the dark similarly, earplugs can reduce your sense of hearing. And gag skin change our relations to the world around us by slowing down our breathing, and reducing our ability to communicate  all these tools offer us a chance to experience the world differently  to create a sexual space unlike any other, and become pleasantly depended on a loved and trusted partner. 

Kink can be with or without pain. It may surprise you that to learn that a lot of kinky behaviors that sounds scary or painful, such as whipping or flogging, May not involve any pain at all  if you hear about a whip, you may picture something snaky  like that rips away flesh with one strike  but the whip your kinky friend is saving up to buy is far more likely to be many strips of soft sensuous leather bound into a beautifully braided handle, and designed to fall upon skin with a soft caress ranging from the gentle stroking to a deep thump that feels more like massage than torture  such whips are called floggers at the beginning of when it seems to warm up the skin to a glowing pink and get both players into the rhythm of the play. These sensations can be sexual, sensual and utterly delightful in themselves,  and many players never get into anything you can call painful. Itmaysurprise you to find that a large percentage of those who try Sensual whips, desire something a bit stronger, something floggers made of heavy leather or rubber, or the stinging sensation of a cane  A lot of the toys we collect are available in many different sensation types. Some players have clamps or clips, like wooden clothespins to pinch up a bit of skin depending on the stiffness of the spring, The sensations varries. Candle wax is also a popular option, it can be as hot as the water from your showerhead or hot enough to make your skin pink. If pain play is not your fantasy, it can be hard to understand how somebody can be turned on by it  it may help to remember some of the things you have enjoyed during conventional sex. Scratching, biting, hickeys, hair pulling, and the like  people find that when they are sexually aroused, the pain takes on different attributes, it no longer feels painful. Just interestingly nice. Simply pleasurable and arousing. Or, consider some of the physical extremes you may have pushed  your body to experience during sports, and how happy and relaxed, and list out you have felt afterwards. The pain we enjoy is very specially selected, controlled and timed.    

Quiz! what type of slave are you?

What kind of slave are you? Take the quiz and find out!

I found this quiz along time ago in a news group on Compuserve alt.bondage. I have altered it somewhat, and I wish somebody could help me make it interactive, enjoy!

Imagine you are a slave Living with and serving your ideal dominant. 

What would your life be like? Choose the answer that most represents your dream. 

1. At 6 AM I am suddenly awakened by:

A: My Master’s bell 

B: My Master’s foot

C: The alarm clock

D: The wake up call

2. It’s time to get dressed! I put on:

A: My uniform

B: Nothing

C: An apron

D: A suit

3. It’s been a busy day. I spent the morning:

A: Mending Master’s riding britches

B: Pleasuring my Master

C: Cleaning the whole closet

D: Attending Master as he tours the city

4. It’s time for lunch, I eat:

A: In the sitting room

B: On Master’s boot

C: Whenever I got a minute

D: In a nice little café Master likes

5. The best thing about being a slave is:

A: Being close to Master

B: The sex

C: Feeling useful

D: Experiencing new things

6. My strong point is:

A: My knowledge of fashion

B: My sex appeal

C: My organisational skills

D: My people skills

7. The hardest part about being a slave is:

A: Finding time to making myself look good

B: Getting my intellectual needs met

C: The details, all the little details

D: Being on show all the time 

8. After dinner:

A: Master reads the newspaper while I polish his shoes

B: We retire to the bedroom

C: I do the dishes

D: We are off to the theatre

9. It is bedtime and I must:

A: Lay out masters outfit for tomorrow

B: Make myself available in case Master wants a massage

C: Review tomorrow’s menu

D: Get some sleep after pleasuring master.  I must look my best

10. I dream about:

A: Being allowed to accompany  Master on a drive 

B: The day Master lets me masturbate for him

C: A nice long bubble bath, and an intimate dinner out with Master

D: Just staying home one weekend and relaxing

Now Count how many times you answered A B C or D. Does any of the letters predominate? If so, you have a naturally specialty, as explained below.     

If your answers consistently fall into two categories, you may be attracted to two related or complementary types of slave. 

If your answers are varied, you may be best suited for a more general style of service. Or you may be discovering another special kind of service not covered here. 

Finally, if you discover that you never chose a specific letter, you may feel less enthusiastic about a special type of service. Still, it may be beneficial, a well rounded slave is very valuable, by that I mean varied training in different areas. 

A)

If you chose mostly A answers, you may be a good valet or body servant, in Gorean terms, a bath girl 

You value intimacy with your Master most of all, you are aware of the importance of your physical appearance, and you like to help others look their best.  

You like personal attention from your Master and you value all the trust he places in you. Some refer to this as a slave pride, which is a good kind of pride, you are most comfortable serving at home, although you like when guests are visiting, because you like to display you’re pretty manners. 

If you also had a number of B answers, you may also enjoy sexual service or Victorian scenarios. 

If you also had a number of C answers, you might be a well-rounded housekeeper, especially in a small home.

If you answer D to some of the questions, you may like to travel with your Master as a secretary or escort. 

B)

If you chose most B answers you are highly sexual and well suited to be a sex slave. And your pride yourself on your sexual technique! Most slaves are enjoying erotic tension, but you have stamina. The erotic side of slave hood is your primary focus, although you may be willing to perform some domestic tasks especially if you’re rewarded with the privilege of pleasuring your Master. 

If you had some A answers you might consider complementing your training with some make up skills, Massage skills, or similar. 

If you had a number of C answers you may consider complementing your training with household tasks. 

If you had some D answers, you may want to learn some conversational skills to become an escort to complement your sexual skills. 

C)

If your overall Choice is C answers, you are mostly suited to become a housekeeper or cook. You are very organised, and have considerable household management skills. 

You are very good at dealing with shopping, and business for the household needs. 

But you are just as happy behind-the-scenes. You don’t need much personal attention, and you are a self-starter. You derive most satisfaction from attending to your Master’s needs in a quiet and unobtrusive way. 

If you had some A answers, you might like to be close to the Master in a caring way, such as personal care. 

If you had some B answers, you may fantasise about being used sexually while in the middle of a another task. 

If you have some D answers, you may be an excellent personal secretary, or have all the makings of an escort.

D)

If you chose mostly D answers, the escort role is for you. You have an attractive personality and you have excellent communication skills. You enjoy meeting new people, and you don’t mind serving in public.  But, you are very discreet, you don’t mind if people think you are your Master’s lover. 

If you have a lot of A answers in addition to that, you would maybe like a more formal role. 

To love, honor and obey

What does it really mean to love, honor and obey?

I believe that no lifestyle relationship can exist without friendship! The mutual bond of love and affection. Love and acceptance is the basis of such a union. A slave should be first and for most, the most trusted companion to her owner. Obedience which firmly stands at the center of such a relationship grows out of the trust established by love. While  friendship and trust develop between two people, honor is a matter of individual discretion and conscience. Honor it’s both a personal quality and a system of values on which we base our decisions. It is based on discernment, a realistic sense of order and fairness and an internal sense. One which allow the individual to make judgment about to give in person, action, or situation in the most general term, and honorable person has appropriate and consistent boundaries. 

That she is able to say: this is acceptable, however that is not in my humble opinion, it is vital for a slave to be able to articulate her sense of honor both during an interview with a prospective owner and in service. No, I refuse to speak badly of my owner in public or whenever. I cannot serve you in a way that endangers my ability to earn income in the future, or that compromises my emotional or physical safety. I will not engage in behavior that my owner has forbidden me, even if he will never find out.

A prerequisite to honor is truthfulness. Truthfulness is the ability to be truthful to oneself and to others to one’s feelings and motivations towards others, and to communicate that as accurately as possible. This quality includes the ability to say: I don’t know how I feel about that yet, please let me think about that, or I have changed and here is where I stand now.

If a slave is not truthful, she cannot give informed consent. Or more accurately, the owner cannot be held responsible if, after complying, a slave expressed desires or the slave changes her mind! I thought I would like to be put in a cage and a change of feelings or perceptions: ignored. But now I found out I hated it! That is one thing, that is being truthful!  But such statements as: you should have known not to call me a slut without these boundaries having been agreed-upon, are unacceptable. All sentences beginning with: you should have known, indicates a lack of communication, or of truthfulness. This makes me think of humility.

Humility, like modesty, has an undeserved bad reputation. By humility, I do not mean rampant self hatred or the likes of it. I do mean a A true realistic ability of one’s perceptions and desires, this includes the ability to say to oneself or to others: I was wrong, I made a mistake or, I miss judged my ability to do that for you!”  Likewise, a humble person will except constructive criticism, finding in it The ability to find the nugget of truth within it. That is the key to self betterment, and to do so eagerly. Often, we are so eager to please that we undertake tasks that we are insufficiently prepared to do. There is nothing dishonorable about striving for a goal. What is this honorable, is to refuse to admit to be unable to achieve that goal right now. That makes me think of courtesy. 

Courtesy is at base, A matter of respect. If we respect another persons time, personal space, and rights, then we will naturally act in a way that shows that respect. If we respect their time, then we will not arrive late for appointments. If we respect their personal space, We will not scatter things around their home, or Touch that person without invitation,  and if we respect the rights, we will allow them privacy. We must in all humility respect ourselves in the same way. In my humble opinion, it is a privilege for an owner that we signed these rights away: Food, Recreation, rest and privacy. For me, these things are what it really means to love, honor and obey.

Gorean dancing

There is an abundant variety of slave dances on Gor. They include such dances as these from the books including the belt dance, brand dance, capture dance, chain dance, display dance, hate dance, hunt dance, leash dance, love dances, love dance of the newly collared slave girl, mat dance, need dance, placatory dance, pole/post dance, rebellion dance, sa-eela dance, dance of the six thongs, submission dance, submission dance of the netted slave, tether dance, tile dance, dance of the Tuchuk Slave Girl, virgin dance, and the whip dance. This is by no means an exhaustive list and many of these dances are mentioned only briefly in the literature. There is no or little standardization in slave dance

Each go in their own way, brings to a dance her own personality, disposition, emotions, sensuality, and needs. A girl’s body type will also affect her style and method of dance. The location of the dance, the time of day, and the number and type of observers will also affect the dance. A girl may even dance the same dance differently each time she performs it. For most dances, there are only certain basics that the dance will share in common with other dances of the same name.

Music is not even necessary for slave dancing. It can be performed by a girl who only hears music within her own mind. Dancing also need not be more than simply beautiful movement. A kajira was advised to: “Move as seductively and beautifully as you can, and as a slave, swaying, crawling, kneeling, rolling, supine, prone, begging, pleading, piteous, caressing, kissing, licking, rubbing against them.” (Mercenaries of Gor, p.60). Floor movements are a type of dance where the girl cannot rise higher than a man’s knees. “In few modalities is a woman’s slavery made clearer or more manifest than when she must perform floor movement, than when she must, in effect, dance before men, never rising higher than her knees.” (Kajira of Gor, p.288) Floor movements include such activities as turning, twisting, rolling, crawling, sometimes on hands and knees, sometimes on the stomach, sometimes kneeling, sitting, or lying, or half sitting, half lying, or half kneeling, half lying. The Turian knee walk is a specific type of floor movement that is not really described in the books. From its name we can surmise it involves much movement on your knees. A dance can also be extremely formal and structured, with clearly defined phases and a specific story that must be told.

Dancing may be done in the nude, with jewelry or even dancing silks. These silks are usually diaphanous and can be of any color. One common method of wearing the silks is to have them hung low on the girl’s hips and fall to her ankles. The silks though can be worn in a myriad of ways, all dependent on the girl, the dance and the audience. Jewelry can be of any type but most likely would be bright, shiny and make noise. One dancer wore a belt of small denomination, threaded, overlapping coins. Slave bells are also very common on dancers. Most often, men will place slave bells on a girl and generally only one who has authority over the slave. The slave herself will rarely put them on. The bells are often placed on their ankles though they could also be placed on wrists, belts or other areas. Many slave girls know how to wear their bells to drive a man crazy with passion. Zills, finger cymbals, may also be worn by a dancer. They are worn on the thumb and first finger of each hand. The dancer will judiciously use the clashing of the tiny cymbals to enhance her dancing.

The dancing chain, also known as the dancing collar, is another tool sometimes used to enhance a girl’s dancing. They are used often in the Tahari region. The basic dancing chain consists of a long, light chain. It attaches to a ring on a right manacle and then to a girl’s collar. It then descends to a ring on her left manacle. The chain hangs down to around her knees. This chain is meant to enhance her dance, not to restrict it. It does impose subtle limits but those are intentional, indicative of the girl’s bondage. A traditional chain in the Tahari is the oval and collar. To enter the chain, she will kneel, head down, in a large oval of chain. At the sides of the top of the oval are two wrist rings. At the sides of the bottom of the oval are two ankle rings. The oval will be pulled inward and the wrist and ankle rings fastened on the girl. A dancing collar is placed around her throat. The front of the collar has an open snap ring. The chain is then placed within the snap ring and locked into place. The wrists will now be about a yard apart and the ankles will be about eighteen inches apart.

Though all dances are different, varying even from girl to girl, there are some basics that are generally common to all. Dances may begin in a number of ways but a common starting position is to have your hands lifted over your head with the wrists back to back, your body held high and your stomach held in, with your right leg flexed and extended, only the toes touching the floor. Most dances also consist of a series of different phases. During these phases, the music may differ and the girl’s movements and expressions may also differ. In a story dance, each phase is meant to signify a different segment of the story. 

Here are some examples:

Dance 1

The  kajira now danced upon her knees, at the end of the coffee table, using the table in the dance, thrusting her belly against it, and touching it with her hands, and her body and lips.  

kajira  then, was back from the table, on the tiles, on her back, and sides, and knees, and then prone, and then again supine, and then writhing, as though in frustration and loneliness.

the striking of her small, clenched fists on the tiles, the scratching of her fingernails at their smooth surfaces, the turning of a hip, the flattening of a thigh, the lifting of a knee, the turning of her head, the piteous scattering of her hair from side to side. She lay on her back, and, whimpering, struck down, in misery, stinging the palms of her hands, bruising her small heels. She might have been in a cell, locked away from men.

She then rolled to her stomach, and rose to her hands and knees, and, head down, remained for a moment in that posture. It is at this moment that the music enters a different melodic phase, one less physical and frenzied, one almost lyrical in its poignancy. She crawls some feet to her left and lifts her head. She puts out her small hand. It seems that it there encounters some barrier, some enclosing, confining wall. She then rises to her feet. Swiftly she hurries about, in the graceful, frightened haste of the dancer, her hands seeming to trace the location of the obdurate barriers, those invisible walls which seemed to contain her. She then stood and faced the audience and put her head in her hands, bent over, and then straightened her body, her head and hair thrown back. “I?” she seemed to ask, looking out, as though some rude jailer might have come to the gate of her pen. But there is, of course, no one there, and, in the performance of the dance, that is clearly understood. Then, in poignant fantasy, within the pen, she prepares herself for the master, seeming to thoughtfully select silks and jewelry, seeming to apply perfume and cosmetics, seeming to be bedecked in shimmering, diaphanous slave splendor. She then crosses her wrists, and moves them, as though they have been bound. She then extends them before her as though the strap on them had been drawn tight It then seems that she, head high, a bound slave, is being led on her tether from the pen. But, at the gate, of course, her wrists separate, and her small palms and fingers indicate for the audience dearly, that she is still confined. She retreats to the center of the pen, falls to her knees, covers her head with her hands, and weeps.

The next phase of the music begins at this point.

She looks up. There is a sound in the corridor, beyond the gate. She leaps up, and backs against the wall of her pen. This time, it seems, truly, there are men there, that they have come for her. She puts her head up; she turns away; she feigns disdain. Then, it seems, as she, startled, looks about, they are turning away. She then throws herself to her belly on the floor of the pen, calling to them, lifting her head, holding out her hand piteously to them. She pleads to be considered.

It then seems, as she shrinks back, lifting herself to the palms of her hands, frightened, that the gate to her pen has been opened. She kneels swiftly in the position of the pleasure slave. Obviously she fears her rude jailers. Twice, it seems she is struck with a whip. Then she, again, assumes the position of the pleasure slave. She nods her head. She understands well what you want.    “Yes, Masters!” it seems she says. But how little do her jailers, perhaps only common and boorish fellows, understand that this is precisely what she, too, deeply and desperately desires to do. How long she has waited, in cruel frustration, unfulfilled and lonely, in her cell for just such a moment, that precious opportunity in which she, a mere slave, may be permitted to display and present herself for the consideration of her master. How can they understand the poignance, and significance, of this moment for her? She is to have an opportunity to present herself before the master! Who knows if she, in such a large house, one with such cells and jailers, may ever again be given such an opportunity?

It then seems that she is hauled to her feet and that her wrists, tightly and cruelly, are bound behind her back. Her body and head are then bent far over. Her head twists. It seems a man’s hand is in her hair. Not as a high slave, clothed in jewelries and shimmering silks. She then, with small, hurried steps, bent over, described a wide circle on the tiles. Then, it seemed, she was thrown to her knees, and then her side, before you Her hands were still held as though tightly bound behind her. She looked at us. We were, of course, the “masters,” before whom she was to perform. She rose to her feet. She twisted, as though her hands were being untied. She then flexed her legs and lifted her hands over her head, as she had in the beginning, back to back.

Kajira now, in all her helplessness, in all her desperation, in all her sensual splendor, was dancing not aspects or attributes of her beauty before her master, but was dancing her own passions, her own needs and desires, her own piteous, needful, beautiful, intimate and personal self before him. There were no restraints, no reservations, no compromises, no divisions or distinctions. Her needs were as exposed as her collared body. She danced herself before her master.

The music swirled to its climax and the slave girl  turning, flung herself to her back on the tiles before her Master As the music struck its last, rousing note, she arched her back, and flexed her legs, and looked back at him, her right arm extended piteously back towards him.

Inspired by Livia. C U soon. 

Dance 2

kneeling back on her heels, her head up, her back straight, the palms of her hands down on her thighs. 

I tease  you dancing close to you swaying, my belly alive for you with the jangling metal pieces, the anklets clashing on my ankles, the bracelets sliding and ringing on my wrists, and then, as you attempt to seize me, I draw  back, backing away, or whirl, with a swirl of beads, away from you I keep  on  dancing close to you Suddenly in my dance it seemed I was a virgin, reluctant and fearful, terrified in the reality in which she found herself, but knowing she must respond to the music, to those heady, sensuous rhythms, to the wild cries of the flute, to the beating of the drum. I then danced timidity, and reluctance and inhibition, but yet reflecting, as one would, in such a situation, the commands of the music. I examined in dismay the beads about my neck, the cords at my waist, my  adorned ankles and wrists, I touched my thighs, and lifted my arms, looking at them, and put my hands upon my body, as though I could not believe that it was unclothed. I pretended to shrink down within myself, to desire to crouch down, and conceal and cover my nudity, but then I straightened up, fearfully, as though I had heard commands to desist in such absurdities, and then I extended my hands to the sides, to various sides, as though pleading for mercy, to be released from the imperatives of the music, but reacted, drawing back, as though I had seen the sight of a whip  am a basically shy person. But now I was dancing such things as shyness, and timidity, and fear, and curiosity, and fascination, as roles. Like many shy persons I can find myself in roles, and blossom forth in them.

I suddenly by expression and movement, an almost involuntary contortion of my belly, seemingly startling me, and frightening me, appeared to suddenly sense, or glimpse, my sexuality.

 I approach you in   the dance, and  my belly seeming to register, with its jangling accouterments, your presence. Each time I would draw back from you but my belly, my hips, would seem to propel me again toward you  I then felt my hips, and thighs, and breasts, and belly, as these seemed to come alive in the music. And then, throwing my head back, I danced unabashedly as an acknowledged, aroused slave, much as I had before, taunting you  teasing you delighting in my power, but then, suddenly, as though I sensed my ultimate helplessness, my ultimate inability to achieve total fulfillment without the wholeness of sexuality, without the master and the yielding, which gave meaning to the incipient passions within me, I danced the aroused slave who is the property of the master and begs his touch. 

Then I realized suddenly that I was actually aroused. The interior of my thighs were hot. My belly, hot and burning, seemed to beg to be touched. I do not know, really, whether I had done this to myself in the dance, which is possible, or if my arousal had merely came upon me in the course of the dance, but I was aroused. I was a helpless, aroused slave! This now was no role. It was what I was.

  I knew the music was approaching its climax, and the dance must be concluded.

I then, in the coda of my performance, danced helplessness and beauty, and submission, surrendering myself as I, in my collar, must, into the hands and mercy  of my Master. 

then the music was done and I lay before you on my back, my breasts rising and falling as I fought for breath, my body sheened with sweat, my hands beside me, palms up, my knees lifted slightly, my right knee highest, a slave before my  master. 

Dance 3

My hair is long and silken black, my eyes dark, the color of my skin tannish.

I dance   before my Master for several minutes, my scarlet dancing silks flashing in the firelight, my bare feet, with their belled ankles, striking softly on the carpet. With a last flash of the finger cymbals, i fell to the carpet before you  my breath hot and quick, my eyes blazing with desire.

Feeling a kind of delicious terror, i got up  and raised my wrists.

I dance my joy that I’ll soon lay in the arms of a strong Master My ankles in delicious proximity and wrists lifted again together back to back above my head, palms out. My ankles chained  i wore the linked ankle rings, the three-linked slave bracelets  gleaming in the fire light. The music grew more wild. Then I continue to dance boldly before you. I   tore from my own body the silk i wore and danced some more   My arms extending towards you  And i dance superbly for you.  every fiber of my  body straining to please this wonderful Master.  My eyes, each instant, pleading, trying to read in yours my fate. At last, when    could dance no more, i fell at   your feet,i put my head to your boots. I get up, using the chain to please you as i dance. “Yes,” I said, “you can consider it a dancei    am  writhing for my master, pausing now and then to startle you with my beauty, via the chain. There is even music here. Feel it in your belly. Deep in your belly! Deeper! Yes! Yes!”

Dance 4

Her distress and uneasiness, her restlessness, her disturbance by her sexual urges, wow? looking at u it must become clear not only that  i have sexual needs, and deep ones, but that i am  beginning to fear that i may not be, simply as  i am,of sufficient interest to men to obtain their satisfaction. Here, need coupled with anxiety andv self-doubt, for she has not yet been seized by strong men, must become clear. I  acknowledge  myself  defeated in my attempt to conceal my sexuality; she then, again in an almost ladylike fashion, delicately but clearly, with restraint but unmistakably, acknowledges, and publicly, before masters, that she has sexual needs. Then, with smiles, and gestures, displaying herself,she makes manifest her readiness for the service of mmasters her willingness, and her receptivity. She invites them, so to speak to have her. But she has not yet been seized by an arm or an ankle, or by her collar, a thumb hooked rudely under it, or hair, and pulled from the floor. What if she is not sufficiently pleasing? What if she is not to be fulfilled? What if she must continue to dance, alone, unnoticed. At this point it becomes clear to me that it is by no means a foregone conclusion that men will find me of interest, or that they will see fit to satisfy me I must strive to be pleasing. If i am not good enough i may be chained, unfulfilled, another night alone in the kennel. There are always other girls. I must earn my use.  I dance my need, shamelessly, begs for my sexual satisfaction. I am overcome by sexual desire and terrified that i may not be found sufficiently pleasing, clearly manifests, and utterly, that i am a slave female. Ini am now performing a floor dance.  sitting, rolling, and changing position, on her side, her back, her belly, half kneeling, half sitting, kneeling, crawling, reaching out, bending backwards, lying down, twisting with passion, gesturing to her body, presenting it to masters for their inspection and interest, whimpering, moaning, crying out, brazenly presenting herself as a slave, pleading for her use she writhes, a piteous, begging, vulnerable, ready slave, a woman fit for and begging for the touch of a master, a woman begging to become, at the least touch of her master, a totally submitted slave.     

Coffee and tea serves

Rituals symbolise Ownership and Possession Rituals are used to reinforce and maintain feelings of Ownership and Possession.   Being served is one of the principal reasons why owners and dominants invest their time in establishing O&P relationships. Service is not limited to domestic work and sexual use, but can also include companionship,  acting as a social secretary, managing accounts, improving the house, and learning new skills. Service reinforces the difference in status between servant and master, and provides opportunities to overcome feelings of false entitlement and misplaced pride. And yet good service is also something to take pride in providing, and a submissive who serves well is someone to be proud of. 

Tea ceremony  

I purify my heart and mind from all the worries of the world, then I’m able to fully serve myMaster. I wash my hands, to get rid of the dust from the outside world, now it’s only you and me! This moment exists only for you. I clean the tools here right in front of you  i do this with highly graceful movements, because it is important that it should be aesthetically pleasing for everybody watching.  

I know that I’m not allowed to use   unnecessary words or unnecessary movements  

I measure  the perfect amount of tea from a tiny  tin box     I show you  the tiny copper kettle on the small stand. A dung fire burns under it. A small, heavy, curved glass is nearby, on a flat box, which would hold some two ounces of the tea. Bazi tea is drunk in tiny glasses, usually three at a time. I lifted the kettle from the fire and, carefully, pour you a tiny glass of tea.  

I  lower my arms, sliding up my  thighs, delicate hands rest…the slave remains motionless, kneeling quietly at the Master’s feet

The Master dismisses a girl at this point. Why, I do not know.  

  I softly whisper… Yes Master  ..my  eyes lowered i lean forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the ground at your feet, backing away three full paces, as i rise crossing my hands above my heart i whisper…thank you Master for allowing this slave the pleasure of serving you…with a sweet smile i turn and hastens to the serving furs. 

Coffee serve

“May I serve you?” I ask   

I carefully wipe the cup with my hands  they  slightly, shake on the coffee pot  

I attend to the filling of the cup  

I  pour carefully, the hot, black beverage into the tiny red cup.

I pour carefully, terrified that i might spill it.

I then approach delicately, as though timidly, head down. 

carrying the coffee pot   I rise  to my feet and approach you 

I kneel back  on my heels, knees widely spread, in the common position of the Pleasure Slave. I 

Hold the cup   in both hands.

 I take the  cup  and hold it against my body, pushing inward against my belly, low, below the navel.

I press the cup into my  waist. I 

press the cup into my  left breast softly but firmly. I 

press the cup into my right breast softly but firmly.

I press the cup into my shoulders. I touch the cup to my collar.

I press my lips to the cup, to its side, kissing it.

I close my  eyes.

Again head turned to the side, i  press my lips softly, lovingly, lingeringly, delicately, fully, against it, kissing it.

I Open my eyes.

Gazing over the rim at my master, i kiss the cup tenderly, and lick it, lovingly, lingeringly, for he is the master, and he is permitting me a mere slave, to serve him.

I Lower my head, down between my arms.

I Throw my  hair forward.

Extend my arms, lifting the cup 

“For your pleasure, I bring you coffee and a slave.”

“Thank you, Master.”

I bow my head and with a shy smile back gracefully, then turn and hurri away. Let me try that again. 

My head down, i withdraw

I withdraw gracefully, gratefully, still facing the table,better still…  naeh…

After the coffee  is poured i  rose up and body bent, head down, eyes cast down, backed gracefully, silently, away, withdrawing to the side.

  Hold on! I knelt back, about a yard from the table.

Then i withdrew, a bit, to kneel in the background, where, unobtrusively, i would be at hand, should i be needed, or wanted, or desired. 

Third person speech and the ego

I mention that my relationship has a lot of Gorean protocols and etiquette  third person speech puzzle me a great deal however, I want to share my current thoughts on the subject to demystify the concept and share the insight I have gained through the years

The protocol isn’t arbitrary nor for the convenience of the Master, Owner, slave nor others in the life or the public.

A slave’s self reference has to do with a reflection of the Truth by  internalizing and excepting this if it pleases your owner.

in my training, trying to battle my will and ego, I felt that something subconscious was holding me back    My acceptance repeatedly each time i  got close to declaring and defining myself as slave through my commitment to obedience. Finally i realized that  each time I found myself in the state of mind where I was ready to jump into the reality of accepting my slave heart, I felt  as though I was lying in declaring ownership of myself. Each time i  declared “I am slave.” I  felt the dishonesty of egotistically claiming what never has belonged to myself.

Master and i agreed i would never again refer to myself as “I” or “me”, and instead would know myself only as “This slave/girl” (properly capitalized at the beginning of a sentence). When the next opportunity was empowered, I finally felt I set my slave heart free  I work hard not to screw up my speech in public though I finally was consciously in the same environment as i was spiritually when i internally declared and permanently and profoundly accepted my slavery.

When the conscious mind was inconsistent with what was experienced, the inconsistency absolutely prohibited advancement. When i talked one way, self identified egotistically, i could not accept the inconsistent and different world of slavery where there is no egotistic self ownership. I was trained to speak the truth, referring only to “This slave” and secondarily as “it”. My owner at the time explained to me that  Forcing the self reference of ‘I” and “me” sets up a block to belonging and obeying. It isn’t coincidental that several  military organizations force the use of “This marine” or “This soldier” and deny the use of self reference. Similarly, many religious practices deny the same egotistic reference.

As we speak, we think. As we think, we live. As we live, we become. There is clear cause and effect.it is clear that having no self reference irritates the ego and easily shows where egotism is preventing growth.

Every aspect of the relationship between a slave and her Owner is absolutely and identically the same as that between a man and his body. The slave takes her identity from her Owner. The Owner expects the same obedience from His slave that He does from His hand, and as He would from any part of His body. The Owner cares for and identifies with the slave, as He does His own hand, and would never do anything with His hand, or His slave, that is not in its best interest.

Likewise, the slave provides her Owner with information, just as the Owner’s hand would provide information that the hand receives. However, in the same way as a slave, the hand would not, and can not, question what a Man does with His own hand. Nor is the hand functional if given away. The bond, and the relationship, is permanent, and for life.

Slaves are often trained to never use “I” or “me” because of the ownership they imply and the ego that it introduces into her thinking. Such references are a lie to a slave, because who she is, is another person’s slave. It is as silly for a slave to use the reference “I” as it would be for someone’s foot to refer to itself as “I.”

A kajira is BORN to be slave. That is true. However, a potential slave is also genetically born with an ego. The ego has been trained and strengthened by everything we have learned and been exposed to throughout life. It is the ego a person refers to each and every time that she says “I” or “me”. The ego takes credit for everything positive that we have accomplished. Each good decision is another claim by the ego that it has “done good.”

The ego is best at creating artificial and inaccurate conclusions. It takes every event in our life, and remembers it in ways that makes the ego look good, regardless of what really happened. Some of us are more honest than others, some of us are “gifted” with a spiritual background, or philosophical training, or fortunate to have very aware and educational parents. Some of us have at least been convinced that WE didn’t make us who we are. At a minimum, we might believe that the intelligence and talents we have, weren’t because of what WE did. They were given to us. Some of us, at least intellectually, recognize the advantages we received from our parents and accept that they probably had a sizable influence over our success. Everything we are, and are capable of, is clearly, not of our doing nor the result of our personal effort and cleverness. The ego claims otherwise.

Even when we have a belief that everything we are isn’t of our own doing, the ego convinces us that it should take the credit. It reasons that, after all, IT accepted the understanding that everything isn’t of our doing. It convinces us that we are successful because the ego made the “choice” to accept that understanding, and that the decision provided our success as a consequence. There is, therefore, no escaping the fact that no matter what we do, or what we believe, the ego tries to take credit for everything that has happened in our lives that we feel good about, and claim that everything negative is not it’s responsibility.

It is important to understand that these “ego displays” are not a negative activity. It is as critical to the training as any part. It gives a girl an opportunity to understand the nature of the ego. That will be valuable, in slavery, when dealing with the “egos” of the world which the slave will come to serve through every professional, social, familial, and other encounter that she will ever experience for the rest of her life.

Girls who are meant to be slave are generally, by their very nature, very caring and giving people. They usually have developed a personal generosity and learned the pleasure of giving. When such a girl experiences the brutal ugliness of her own ego, usually directed against the girl she is depending on for the fulfillment of her most cherished dreams, her Owner, she  starts to understand the divisive, insidious nature of the ego. That prepares her to understand what might be motivating those she will serve in the future, through slavery. She will be able to serve them better because of the experience.

The discomfort is what starts a girl thinking about what is going on. No matter what we fantasize, everything in that fantasy is always under the control of the girl who is thinking it. Even the feeling of not being in control, is under the control of the one doing the imagining. Only the reality of a relationship can produce the real experience, and conclusion that the slave trainee isn’t controlling. The reality is more like the feeling of being in a strange place, than like the auto erotic experience fantasy produced.

That which had produced the turn on in the past, begins to change. Experiences that were considered the “I would never do” type, become more and more attractive as the relationship progresses and the slave growing inside begins to replace the human. The most erotic activities, either real or imagined, that the girl before her slave training felt were her “turn on’s”, ideally become just another activity that pleases her Owner, without the special importance that the ego gave it in the past.

Only the ego judges and evaluates. Only the ego says “been there, done that.” As the human, with its ego, is weakened, the spirit of slavery, with its true nature becomes the only nature of the slave.

That total acceptance, surrender, and obedience is for most the scary part of becoming slave. It can’t be faked and it can’t be given away, then taken back. The mind knows when it was “just pretending or acting “just for now.” The mind cannot be fooled into thinking it is giving absolute obedience when it knows that it isn’t. Absolute obedience is what connects the slave to that new controller, her Owner. It has to be real to have any effect. If it is real, then it is permanent and unqualified.

A Master’s pleasure comes from having His needs fulfilled. A kajira does that uniquely well by having no self interest, because she has given that to her Owner A slave is, therefore, free to uncompromisingly fulfill the pleasure of the Master, and derive her own pleasure from the pleasure given, just has she has  learned to do through becoming slave. A Master and His slave are now free to indulge themselves in the reciprocal experience of deriving pleasure from giving the other pleasure. The slave cannot “lose” herself because she is an independent part of another, her Owner resolute in her self image and identity as being a part of another. A slave is capable of the unqualified giving explicitly because she is a part of another who protects her slavery, provides growth to it, and is dedicated to the best interest of that slave.

The slave cannot be threatened by any honest expression of who she is, when serving a Master, because her identity does not depend on the Master, it depends on her Owner.

A slave seeks only one thing: obedience, to be trapped into obedience so that no sense of choice clouds its heart, mind and spirit, an obedience so strong that the slave IS obedience, and that the slave becomes One with the Owner, an intimacy so great and powerful that no other pleasure in life need exist.

Some may suggest that being so obedient means being mindless, but this is not the case. Obedience means having no selfish thoughts of one’s own and listening with ears, heart and spirit for any order given, and any order given may require that the slave make great use of mental powers, although they are used in obedience rather than to achieve the objectives of the ego.

Ethical foundations

What is D/s? In D/s, a submissive is obeying, serving, or being controlled by a dominant. What is M/s? In M/s, a slave is owned by a master. There is much more to both D/s and M/s than that, but no agreement about what. Some of these disagreements are about form, such as what a collar symbolises; but some are about substance, such as the purpose of a D/s relationship. Using the same names for many different types of relationship perpetuates confusion, causes unnecessary arguments, and makes it harder to find like-minded people. Instead of using these disputed terms, this manifesto outlines a new structure to describe relationships, O&P (Ownership & Possession), that is nevertheless built from familiar D/s and M/s concepts. 

  1. What is Possession? Central to O&P is the concept of Possession: having control and use for one’s own purposes of that which is possessed, involving some or all of the rights associated with property ownership. This is asymmetric and unequal in status. While the submissive is in the dominant’s possession they are fundamentally there for the dominant, obeying the dominant, and subject to the dominant’s decisions. The dominant is the submissive’s superior, just as an employer is their servant’s superior. The unambiguous, honest, and hierarchical nature of O&P provides clarity about what is to be done, and who is to do it, without the manipulation and unstated quid pro quo of so many relationships. 
  1. What is Ownership? Possession may be limited in time or scope, but Ownership is the enduring and veto-less form of possession, in which possession has been maintained long enough and deep enough that it has become ingrained, resulting in the enslavement of the submissive, as a slave. Since this is a gradual, overlapping process, it is usually easier to talk of Ownership & Possession together as O&P. 
  1. Consent derives from property rights O&P is defined in terms of property, and so uses property as its ethical foundation. People are born owning themselves, under the guardianship of parents. As adults, people have the right to hand over some or all of their self-ownership. Respect for property rights requires that O&P must be entered with the freely given informed consent of the submissive. 
  1. Responsibility for maintaining property As with all property, if it is not looked after over time, the ability to use or own it is lost. For this reason, needs cannot be left unaddressed over time, by the definition of “needs” themselves. Maintenance of property demands responsibility, and in O&P this is a cardinal virtue of dominants and owners.
  1. Respect other people’s property rights In O&P, respect for property also informs relations between people outside of their relationships. For example, protocols and etiquette treat unattached submissives as independent people, governing their own lives, and not subject to other dominants; equally, protocols and etiquette acknowledge the status of in other dominants’ possession, and do not presume, for instance, that submissives can still make decisions which are now in the hands of their dominant. Respect for inanimate property is also the basis for the ancient customs of hosts and guests, in both the domestic and public spheres.
  1. The House embodies the relationship in property itself In O&P, the house is the embodiment of property relationships in the form of property itself. Whether they are mono or poly, households, headed by dominants, served by submissives, and visited by guests, provide a more structured form of domestic relationship than, for example, a vanilla marriage. This structure and hierarchy promotes a life of worthwhile purpose, under the authority of a responsible and competent dominant.
  1. Service Being served is one of the principal reasons why owners and dominants invest their time in establishing O&P relationships. Service is not limited to domestic work and sexual use, but can also include companionship,  acting as a social secretary, managing accounts, improving the house, and learning new skills. Service reinforces the difference in status between servant and master, and provides opportunities to overcome feelings of false entitlement and misplaced pride. And yet good service is also something to take pride in providing, and a submissive who serves well is someone to be proud of. 
  1. Dignity as a guiding principle Dignity, and the need to avoid undignified behaviour, are guiding principles for owners and dominants, and promote the stability and proper functioning of the household and its interactions with people outside. Maintaining dignity requires the avoidance of lying, cheating, lack of effort, or breaking one’s word. It also means not compromising on one’s own freedom, including making oneself dependent on others because of lack of self-discipline, and not compromising one’s self in the face of resistance from submissives and social pressures from outside the household. In short, it is beneath an owner or dominant’s dignity to engage in unworthy behaviour.
  1. Authenticity is required for a sound foundation O&P relationships strive for authenticity: that is matching the external face of things to their internal reality. Deceiving others or ourselves makes everything we do a hostage to future revelations. Embellishing our relationships or living fantasy lives masks the real issues we have to identify and overcome.
  1. Rituals symbolise Ownership and Possession Rituals are used to reinforce and maintain feelings of Ownership and Possession. As an ancient symbol of slave ownership, collars are of particular symbolic weight in O&P. Wearing a dominant’s collar signifies that a submissive is in the possession of the dominant. Beyond that, its meaning is determined and stated by the dominant, whether that is a simple “handle on the neck” of a submissive currently in their power, or a collar showing Ownership that is worn for years without removal.